You may be one of many folks on the planet who believes that peace begins with the self, extends to one's closest relationships, and ripples outward to the greater community. Being in loving relationship with oneself heals the earth!
One of the best ways to improve our relationship with ourselves and others is through conscious loving dialogue. What do you say to and about yourself when you make a mistake? How do you treat others when their actions result in uncomfortable feelings for you?
In 2011, I began studying a communication process called Nonviolent Communication, also known as NVC or Compassionate Communication. It was developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the sixties as a way to teach peacemaking skills, engender conflict resolution, and improve heartfelt connections with others.
Though there is somewhat of a formula, NVC is really a process of learning to have compassion and empathy for oneself and others, recognizing what each person's feelings and needs are, and in so doing realizing that it is possible for all parties to have their needs met without conflict.
Here are the basic steps in just two sentences. Initially, you work through these on your own, prior to communicating with your partner or group. With practice, it becomes easier to use in real time.
One of the best ways to improve our relationship with ourselves and others is through conscious loving dialogue. What do you say to and about yourself when you make a mistake? How do you treat others when their actions result in uncomfortable feelings for you?
In 2011, I began studying a communication process called Nonviolent Communication, also known as NVC or Compassionate Communication. It was developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the sixties as a way to teach peacemaking skills, engender conflict resolution, and improve heartfelt connections with others.
Though there is somewhat of a formula, NVC is really a process of learning to have compassion and empathy for oneself and others, recognizing what each person's feelings and needs are, and in so doing realizing that it is possible for all parties to have their needs met without conflict.
Here are the basic steps in just two sentences. Initially, you work through these on your own, prior to communicating with your partner or group. With practice, it becomes easier to use in real time.
1. When _________ happens (best if you stay with a specific occurrence)
2. I feel _________ (a specific emotion is best, not just "bad" or "good")
3. because _________ (want/value/need that is not being met when this occurs).
4. In the future/Next time, would you be willing to _________?
If you are frustrated with your ability to connect with someone you care about or just want to effect positive change, give it a try! This process played a crucial role in preserving my marriage during a difficult time. I believe it is a necessary tool for every human's developmental toolbox.
Happy practicing and thanks for reading!
For more information...
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life-Your first "go to" guide to further understand the process.
Phone app to assist you on the go- iGrok-This app provides a quick list of needs and feelings that comes in handy when I am unclear what feeling and/or need is at work within me.
List of Feelings-This list will help you identify your feelings.
List of Needs-And this one your needs. :)
Happy practicing and thanks for reading!
For more information...
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life-Your first "go to" guide to further understand the process.
Phone app to assist you on the go- iGrok-This app provides a quick list of needs and feelings that comes in handy when I am unclear what feeling and/or need is at work within me.
List of Feelings-This list will help you identify your feelings.
List of Needs-And this one your needs. :)
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