Pointing Your Finger

Have you heard the saying, "When you point your finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back at you?"

Ever since I first heard this, I have felt connected to its meaning.

How many times do you tell your kids to do something that you yourself do not do? How often do you find yourself angry at someone's behavior and then realize that you (maybe often) do the same thing?

Whenever we judge someone (in a non-neutral, finger-pointy kind of way) as if we know what they should be doing, how they should be acting, etc., aren't we really judging ourselves?

I tell my daughter to take care of her clothes each night (put away what's clean and throw the dirties in the laundry bin) and get out her clothes for the next day, yet I don't do this myself.  I justify it, of course, because I don't have to leave the house right away in the mornings, so I have more time to choose what to wear and I don't have to deal with my laundry because I am dealing with everyone else's laundry, etc.  Regardless, we teach best by example and I bet my daughter would improve even faster if she were witnessing me do the same.

We judge our government for being in a load of debt.  Are we, ourselves, in debt in our personal lives? Yes, theoretically, they have more skillful budget-balancing economists counseling them, but still...

My point is not to encourage thinking of yourself as a hypocrite.  I have been enjoying Eckhart Tolle's advice to observe your own feelings and thoughts with objectivity.  If you find yourself having negative thoughts, emotions, or judgements about another, simply observe that and then think about something (even little) YOU can do to support positive change in yourself.

My lovely sister once told me she knew it was inappropriate for her to expect her sons to make their beds when she, herself, did not.  My husband and I had recently added this task to my daughter's morning routine, yet we were not making our own bed.  I didn't berate myself about it.  I simply shared this with my husband and we began making our bed together in the mornings.  It took some time to adjust, but now we do it (just about) every day.  It has improved our lives as it puts closure on the night, looks nice during the day, sets an example (especially of integrity) to our children, and it is easier for me to do laundry because the bed is where I do my folding!


It will feel almost like magic how you begin to see others changing around you when you yourself are the change.  If all the masses were to get themselves out of debt, I wonder if we'd see some "bottom-up" economics?  Tee hee. Let's show 'em how it's done.  ;)

Enjoy exercising your right to vote today!